


Neutral Zone

by Marks



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Young Veins
Genre: Gen, Post-breakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-07
Updated: 2009-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-13 21:02:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/828857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marks/pseuds/Marks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer leans against his car in the empty In-N-Out parking lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Neutral Zone

**Author's Note:**

> Written the day Panic! split in 2009 because I like pain.

Spencer leans against his car in the empty In-N-Out parking lot. He takes another drag on his cigarette, letting go of the filter to shield his eyes from headlights as another car pulls up and parks next to him, slow as anything. As usual.

Ryan smiles as he gets out of his car and slams the door behind him, and it's tight and small, but it's genuine.

"Hey," he says.

"Hey yourself," Spencer replies.

Ryan leans up against Spencer's car, too, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, and Spencer wonders if he should shift away, make their musical separation a physical one, but in the end he just leaves things as they are and lets it happen when Ryan reaches over to pluck his cigarette out of his hands.

"You're smoking again?" Ryan asks. "I thought you quit."

Spencer shrugs. "It's just stress."

Ryan nods and takes a couple of shallow puffs before handing the cigarette back; Spencer doesn't shy away when their fingers touch. They stand in silence for a bit, Spencer holding the smoke in his lungs long enough that their breathing can't match up properly.

"So," Ryan says eventually.

The "Sew buttons on ice cream" is out of Spencer's mouth before he can even stop it and Ryan laughs.

"You're turning into your mom," Ryan says, delighted. "I never got it when she said that."

Spencer snorts. "You wish I was turning into my mom."

Ryan angles his body toward Spencer, just enough to see Ryan's raised eyebrows. "She called me, you know. Today."

Spencer's so startled he drops his cigarette. Cursing, he stomps out the butt with the toe of his shoe.

"She was worried about me. Why didn't you tell her?" Ryan asks. He's staring at the ground, at the last bright orange glow burning down to nothing in the dirt. "I mean, it's been a while since..."

"Since the band broke up," Spencer finishes. He's never going to stop finishing Ryan's sentences.

"Yeah." Ryan swallows. "Since... since. She said she didn't know until the announcement."

Spencer shrugs again. "It's hard to say out loud," he says. "To say that we're giving up." He holds up one hand as Ryan opens his mouth again. "I know it's for the best and the wise musical decision and all that grown-up shit, but sometimes it's hard to admit..."

"To yourself," Ryan says quietly. There goes the sentence finishing again. "Yeah, I know."

"It's not like you're gonna get rid of me every other way just because you keep writing music without drum parts and I won't play a god damned tambourine."

Ryan laughs again, but it's choked, almost half-crying. It's the same noise he made when the four of them decided to become ants marching two-by-two. Spencer's stomach is tight and his eyes prickle at the corners.

"You're still my best friend." Spencer is thinking those words so hard that it takes him a couple of seconds to realize Ryan's the one who said them, and by the time he's caught up, Ryan's bony arms are wrapped around his middle and he's got his face buried in Spencer's shirt.

"Me too," Spencer says, even though that's not really a good answer, but it's not like he has too many of those these days. When Ryan pulls away, Spencer's shirt is wet.

+


End file.
